Living an asymmetric life (by Graham Weaver)

I have been on a negative spiral for some time now. Last night, I shared the gory details of it with one of my closest friends, someone who has seen me for many years. He knows my patterns and did not shy away from calling out the fact that I was replaying one of them again. He made me see how my negative self-talk is causing it. Towards the end of our chat, he sent me a talk given by Graham Weaver in Stanford's Graduate School of Business on living an asymmetric life where he gives the antedote to fear. The talk was precisely what I needed to hear and this is a summary of my key takeaways.

1. Do The Hard Thing

• We usually live our lives protecting the downside. This is holding us back. Our fear will eventually cause the very thing we are trying to prevent.
• It stops us from wondering what would happen if things turned out well. The ultimate downside is death. We don't know when we might die.
• Once we are in our comfort zone, we start believing that life is supposed to be easy. This is the opposite of what we need to do. It keeps us stagnant.
• Any change is going to be worse first. Fear is the biggest cause of the initial slump. Over time, once we overcome our fear, we can make the slump shallower for every subsequent change.
• We can push ourselves much harder than we think we can.
• Start playing for the upside.

2. Do Your Thing

• As Buddha discovered, life is a suffering. We have to find what is worth suffering for.
• We are never going to win by living someone else's dream.
• One factor we fail to consider: how we operate when we are turned on

3. Do It For Decades

• If we focus on improving ourselves every day and do it for a long time, our rate of compounding will make us the best at what we do.
• We need to enjoy what we are doing to be able do it for a decade.
• There is no problem that we cannot tackle if we are at it while being at our best for a decade.

4. Write Your Story

• We never stop to visualize what do we want the story of our life to be.
• "How" is the killer of all dreams. Write your dream first.
• Assume that you are going to be successful at whatever you decide to do. What would you choose to do?
• Now, make it happen. Put yourself out there. The universe will respond. You will attract the right things.

Fear is the biggest obstacle holding us back. It disguises itself as our friend, as the "practical" thing to do.

As "not me, not now".

Do what you are afraid of.

While talking to my friend, I realised I keep echoing what different people have said to me over the years and made their opinion of me my reality. I stopped believing in myself and have done a lot of damage to my self-confidence. This talk reminded me of what I truly resonate with and what I really want. I hold back from talking about my dreams. Even thinking about them.

Today is when that starts to change.